Give Yourself Grace With Your Writing

If you’ve struggled with feelings of writing-related anxiety, guilt, or shame, know that you’re not alone… and it’s time to give yourself grace.

As a part-time writer, I struggle to find balance.

There aren’t enough minutes in an hour, hours in a day, or days in a year to accomplish what I want to do.

Worse, without meaning to, I’ve bought into the cult of productivity. This means anytime I find myself with a spare half hour, my mind immediately scrawls an endless list of tasks I could (and should!) be doing.

These tasks can range from researching agents and publishers to proofing audio files. There’s always accounting or marketing-related tasks to get through. Or website maintenance and improvement.

My NeverEnding Story…

If I’m caught up on the above, I could plan, write, revise, or edit. Or reach out to podcasts and bloggers. There’s also the many half-finished writing courses I’ve purchased, a stack of unread writing craft books. If by some miracle I’d caught up on all of that, I have teetering piles of fiction to be read (literally), not to mention an electronic library stuffed to the gills with ebooks (figuratively).

Excuse me a moment while I try to catch my breath after listing some of what’s on my plate.

And then there’s non-writing and non-work tasks that demand time and attention. Family. Friends. Annual checkups. Home maintenance. Grocery shopping. Laundry. Automobile maintenance. Exercise.

You know, the things you must do.

Oh, and then there’s sleep… and (or?) fun.

And I know I’m not alone in how much I have going on. So why then are we so hard on ourselves about our writing or writing progress?

While we all could give ourselves grace, many of us “should” all over ourselves instead.

I should have written… or I should have written more. The character should have had more agency. The series should have ended with a twist that could lead to a spin-off.

But enough is enough. It’s time to combat the negative voice sniping at you from inside your head. So free yourself from feelings of failure and guilt by showing yourself grace.

Grace Means Giving Your Inner Critic The Day Off

What we’re looking for here is to move from self-judgement to acceptance, from criticism to kindness. Sound great?

Then recognize you have the power to give yourself grace.

Evaluate Your Expectations

Here’s a truth: Any progress is progress.

It sounds simple, but how many times have you written a paragraph, then felt bad that you hadn’t written a page? Or finished the scene, the book, the series, etc.? Instead of beating yourself up, try celebrating your writing wins, no matter how small.

Evolve

If your writing is feeling stagnant, it may be time to book a writing retreat. Or find a course, class, conference, or coach. (Alliteration intended). A change of scenery or learning more about the craft of writing may give you the edge you’ve been missing.

Don’t be Perfect

You are the only person who expects you to be perfect.

We all have different strengths, so instead of focusing on your weaknesses, work on improving what you’re already great at.

Fail Forward

When you do make a mistake, lean into it. Why did it happen? What have you learned?

Each time you try something new, you’ll strengthen your resilience. So even if your first attempts are unsuccessful, keep trying!

Cultivate Self-Compassion

Life is messy and can get hard. But instead of getting frustrated when your writing doesn’t go the way you want, try boosting your self-worth and finding acceptance.

Let go of the blame and judgement. Be tolerant of your shortcomings so you can forgive yourself for your flaws. Think about what you’re grateful for, and focus on what you’re good at right now.

If you’re having a hard time forgiving yourself, try writing a self-compassion letter.

You have Permission to do Nothing

Writing is challenging. So when you need a break, allow yourself the time to do something just for you. Maybe it’s a quiet walk, or maybe lunch with a friend. Whether you return to your favorite sad movie, take a nap, or just lay in the grass and watch the clouds float by, give yourself permission to do nothing.

Taking a break and stepping away from your writing may even help you solve a plot problem or imagine a newer, better ending for your story.

We already put enough pressure on ourselves, so let’s free ourselves from writing-related self-criticism, guilt, and shame.

Above all, be generous with yourself.

How do you show yourself grace?

I do not at all understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us. —Anne Lamott

The header photo is a composite of images by Cleo Vermij on Unsplash and Cup of Couple on Pexels.