The Accountability Factor

I’m going to get it together. I am. Starting today.

If you guys could read my diary you’d roll your eyes at how often I’ve said that over my lifetime. The sentiment is usually made with regards to my diet, or my health habits, or both. I even announced it, albeit quietly (and only to myself) regarding my determination to quit smoking. For weeks, I would suck down the last cigarette of the night, the week, my life, and crumple the empty pack, shaking it defiantly at the night sky, sure that this time, THIS TIME I would follow through.

My Monday-morning resolve would be fully dissolved by the time I was dressed. I’d drive in an anxiety-fueled fog to the nearest convenience store and tell myself sagely that I was still going to quit. Next Monday. For sure.

So what does this have to do with me, now? Beyond the obvious (I am still sucky at sticking to Sunday night proclamations) I’ve realized that I’ve done the same thing with my writing.  Five hundred and twenty-four days ago, I sent the 4th draft of my manuscript to my editor.  Four hundred and ninety-nine days ago, I received the edited version back from her. I waited about a week before opening the document, read the first two comments, and closed the document.

Problems and Excuses

I could tell you about the issues I had with Microsoft Word, my Chromebook, my inability to get a live version (with comments and tracked changes) to import correctly into Google Docs, but why stop there? Maybe I should also blame a power outage that surely happened, a bad headache I had during my writing absence, or the coronavirus pandemic. It doesn’t matter. They’re all excuses.

I was too afraid to continue with this book and I let my anxiety stop my progress. I stopped writing the second book which was already 3/4 finished, I stopped writing blog posts, and I even went completely cold turkey on Twitter. I started to tell myself that I wasn’t really a writer because I didn’t have a finished book. I bought a new horse that needed a lot of my time and started competing. I took up yet another new hobby. I made vague excuses when my friends asked me about the book. And I didn’t write.

Turning the Page with Accountability

So what changed? Why did my procrastination stop today? Who knows.

What matters is, today, finally, I opened the document and read my editor’s comments. The comments were constructive, helpful, and consistent. I even emailed them to make sure they’re still willing to work with me. Will her suggestions require work and effort? Of course. Will they improve the book? Certainly. Will it take much time to finish? No, probably not. So what is my problem? I have no idea. None.

Ultimately, what I’ll need to finish this book is accountability, hence this long-winded mea culpa. It worked for me when I used the 100-day challenge to finish editing my fourth draft. It works for me when my watch buzzes that I’m a few thousand steps of my 10,000 steps/day goal. And I think it will work for me to finish this darned book. And then the next. And the next two after that.

If I disappear again, you’ll know why and you can give me the stinky eyeball via comments here or on Twitter.  My book has been waiting for 499 days for me to put on my big girl pants and get to work. Enough is enough.

Have you suffered from procrastination? What is your favorite tip to break the cycle?

Header Photo by noor Younis on Unsplash